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How to Diet While Maintaining Healthy Relationships
One of the toughest things that people go through is whenever they’re trying to actually make a change for the better with themselves, maybe they’re trying to fix their diet. Maybe they’re trying to be a little bit better in business. They’re just investing in themselves in the first place, is dealing with a combative significant other. When I say combative I don’t necessarily mean that there’s arguments. I don’t necessarily mean that there’s fighting. I just mean that there’s that sort of subconscious layer of frustration, of tension, that is coming simply because one person is focusing on themselves.
When you are focusing on a diet, when you’re trying to get in shape, there’s no way around the fact that you are emphasizing yourself at that very point in time. You are focusing on you. You’re making changes for you and it doesn’t matter what those changes are ultimately going to effect. At that point in time you are making changes to you. You have to understand that that’s extremely difficult for whoever else is involved.
If you’re a male, for instance, and you’re making changes to your diet, suddenly you’re starting to eat broccoli and chicken and you’re starting maybe to eat a ketogenic lifestyle and you’re really just paying attention to how you’re eating. Imagine how that’s really going to feel for someone else in that household. They’re immediately going to feel like they’re inferior. They’re going to feel like you’re trying to make these changes to look better for somebody else. They’re going to feel like you’re making these changes because you aren’t feeling satisfied or you’re not feeling completely fulfilled in the relationship with them.
It’s in our best interest naturally from a survival standpoint to think about ourselves. We always do. We may fluff ourselves up and tell ourselves that we don’t, that we’re really doing it for everybody else, but come on, we’re human, we’re animals, we are doing it for survival. When it comes down to that simple fact it makes it very easy to really relate with your significant other.
It’s very easy to want to rub it in their face that you’re getting on a new diet, or you’re embarking on these changes because you’re gloating. You’re happy. You’re riding on the high of making a change to your diet. It’s an idea and we get high on ideas.
I talk to business people day in and day out that just come up with new ideas that they want to embark on in business. They’re so excited, they’re so elated, but when it comes down to actually putting pen to paper and doing stuff, they don’t really do it, but they like to gloat about their ideas. How does that make other people feel? Doesn’t make them feel real good.
Now take that into the diet situation. You’re telling your wife, you’re telling your husband about how you’re starting a keto diet, about how you’re going to eat this, and you’re not going to eat that and suddenly that discounts and devalues every single thing that they’re doing.
You’re not going to just not diet to protect them. What you need to do is you need to lead by example. You don’t make a big statement that you’re going on a diet. You make a statement once. You say it one time and you internalize it. I need to make a change for myself because I don’t like the way that I feel. If you try to sugar coat it and you try to tell them that you’re doing it for them or that you’re doing it for other people it’s just going to come off false because that’s truly not why you’re doing it. You’re doing it for you. You’re doing it so that you can be a better person, so that you can be a better father, so that you can be a better business person, so that you can be a better overall version of you.
Don’t lie about it. Just be blunt with it and then never mention it again. Go about your diet. Go about what you need to do, and your wife, your husband, your significant other is going to catch on to the fact that you are making these changes and you are becoming a better person, which leads me to the most important component that you really need to pay attention to, stimulus response. It’s Pavlovian. It’s so simple. If you ring the bell and you give the dog food they’re going to like the bell. If you ring the bell the dog comes and you zap it, they’re going to hate the damn bell.
If you go on a diet and you turn into a total jerk do you think your spouse is going to like the diet? Heck no. Think about this, use your head, you’re smart. If you go on a diet, you change your life, you try to be a better version of you and you become a worse version of you, not only do you look like a conceited liar, you look like someone that has triggered this terrible Pavlovian response that’s going to turn your significant other so far off they’re going to run the other way. What are they going to do? They’re going to rebel.